


At sixes and sevens

by musicfortables



Category: Roland Orzabal - Fandom, Tears for Fears (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21674914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/musicfortables/pseuds/musicfortables
Summary: Roland is at sixes and sevens with the world in general (and his love life in particular).This short fic comes from my opinion that Roland is a hopeless romantic, is known for having had at least one affair and then being terribly sorry over it (as can be seen in the Raoul and The Kings of Spain album). Themes like poliamory, choosing over your partner and someone else, struggling with getting older and trying to supress your feelings and emotions for a higher good (family) surround both Roland and this fic. I understand if some fans are triggered by this, moreso if they ignored all I'm talking about here. I highly recommend you analyze RATKOS and do your research. Note: this doesn't make Roland any less of a good man and person. If anything, it makes him human and relatable.Disclaimer: I highly respect his real life, his late wife and everything. This is a piece of fiction and should be treated as such. Thank you!
Relationships: Roland Orzabal/women
Comments: 6
Kudos: 11





	At sixes and sevens

_"Did you know your father was an island  
Did you know your mother was the sea"_

Sitting on a bench in a dimly illuminated park. A soft drizzle hitting his curly and long hair. His big hands intertwined and him looking down to his boots.  
Roland hardly blinked for a minute straight. He was out. Blank.

He took a deep breath, moved a bit and passed his hands through his soaked hair. His phone began to vibrate: he got a message.

Roland quickly checked the phone, then bit his lip while trying to answer, but finally decided against it. He closed his phone, put it back on his pocket and got up. Walking was something he used to dislike as a young man. But later on, it became a form of escapism. Many people would have asked "But Roland, what are you escaping from? You have it all" and he would have answered "I'm escaping exactly from that".

He had a nice, loving family. A beautiful woman who never left his side. Children. His music. His home. His money. What was it that made him feel so miserable? He knew it. It was the fact that he couldn't avoid looking out for _more_.

When he thought _more_ , he was talking about women. _Sex_. Affairs. New relationships. Feeling alive. Starting over. _Feeling young again_.  
He always asked himself why he had such a good reputation, when he was obviously not the best man alive. "See, dad. Like father like son...". Roland hit a rock with his boot strongly enough to send it far away, into the darkness of the night.

Suddenly, images crossed his mind. He was battling, trying not to feed imagination. But he needed to see her. What was it, again? She was deffinitely younger. But it wasn't as if he was going to propose to her. He liked to see her, she had a lovely smile and voice. Roland had been on the verge of kissing her at least twice the past week. Why did he keep seeing her? He knew that wouldn't have a happy ending, on either side. For her it would be absurd, to date an older man. For him, it would be a disaster. Dating wasn't the best word for what he wanted to do with her, either.

He pictured himself saying sorry to his wife. He knew exactly what to say. "Look, it can't be helped. I'm poliamorous. I've been a bad man cheating on you, but there's no fix for this. Sorry, I'm the worst".  
When did he come up with such an idea? Reading an article on the newspaper, poliamory was brought up to his attention. "So that's what's wrong with me".

Being honest with himself, he agreed life was a bit boring lately. Same old, same old. There was love and all the good things from a stable life. But he just couldn't get rid of his instincts. As he used to say: "You're an animal, not a mineral". Did that turn him into a bad person? Yes and no. For people like him, not at all. For a person like his own wife, yes it did.

He finally reached for the phone and answered a call.

—Hi, sorry I've been a bit busy today. Look... I can't. I can't do this. No, wait. Let me talk. I know, we haven't done anything wrong. But I can't get any closer to that situation than I already am, on my heart. Please don't phone me ever again. You'll thank me.


End file.
